


Raindrops on Jerkfaces

by TerrifiedAristocrat



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-22
Updated: 2014-10-22
Packaged: 2018-02-22 04:46:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2494979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TerrifiedAristocrat/pseuds/TerrifiedAristocrat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Leorio is put in a rather sticky situation and ends up collaborating with Kuroro to get out of it. Hilarity ensues, as per usual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Raindrops on Jerkfaces

The rain prattled perhaps an inch away from Leorio’s head, a dull, irritating roar. He was soaked from head to toe, and from what he could tell the small, dark room he was trapped in was equally wet. Or maybe it wasn’t, it was rather difficult to tell. Leorio shivered.

He supposed it was his fault; Leorio was as sucker for damsels in distress. This particular damsel was a pretty blonde thing being harassed by some burly guys, nothing too difficult. Except the blonde hit Leorio with some sort of sedative stuff in a perfume bottle, Leorio had no clue what it was but it made him feel like a puppet with its strings cut off and it made the inside of his mouth taste like patchouli.

What were they going to do with him though? It’s not like he had any money for a ransom, and he was the wrong age and gender to be sold as some kind of slave. (Theoretically. There were some weirdos out there) 

Leorio was starting to get some movement back in his limbs when a door was opened. He lifted his head hopefully but was greeted by a warm body being thrown at him. Leorio toppled back, providing no resistance against the heavy body that slammed into his own. 

"Ugh," Leorio grunted gracefully. There was something fluffy in his face. Was it a cat? That made no sense though, why would there be a cat here? Fuck, that sedative must’ve messed him up more than he’d thought. 

The weight rolled off of Leorio. In the ambient light from the room’s crude, barred window Leorio could make out a dark shape with white hand shaped things pressed to the floor… oh wait, those were hands. Leorio struggled to sit up.

"This is irritating," the shape remarked. 

It took Leorio a few minutes to process where he’d heard the smooth voice before. When he realized, he swore colorfully.

"You’re that guy from the Ryodan!" were the first words that tumbled out of Leorio’s mouth that weren’t related to a curse. "What are you doing here?"

"…You sound like one of the chain-user’s accomplices," the man mused. "I’m here because it’s rather difficult fighting off human traffickers without Nen," 

Leorio made a face, squinting to get a better look at the criminal in the darkness. He could make out a pale face and large eyes, with dark hair scattered about. A remarkable cross shaped tattoo adorned the man’s forehead. Why the hell did he even have that, such a thing would make him easy to identify? And why was he so calm? He was just sitting across from Leorio in a lotus-style, a thoughtful look on his face. Everything about the man just pissed Leorio off. If he had the strength, he’d punch him.

Wait.

Did he just say ‘human traffickers?’ 

Fuck.

"His name’s Kurapika, not chain-user," Leorio bit out, distracting himself from his situation and not wanting to show fear or weakness in front of the asshole before him. 

"My name is Kuroro. What’s yours?" the man asked pleasantly. Leorio grit his teeth.

"Stop being so friendly!" he barked.

"Are you going to answer me?" Kuroro wondered. Leorio was quiet for a bit. Now that he was regaining sensation in his limbs he realized how much he hurt.

"Leorio." he muttered. 

"Can you move?" Kuroro moved closer. Leorio wanted to move away, but all he could do was tense. Tensing his muscles was agonizing, causing the Hunter to hiss out in pain. "I’ll take that as a no. Hm."

"Yeah so I’m helpless," Leorio muttered. "Whatever."

"On the contrary, you can use Nen," Kuroro pointed out.

"You keep going on about that," Leorio noted, his voice still agitated.

"Yes, well, if you couldn’t breathe I’m sure you’d complain too," Kuroro sighed, examining his fingernails casually.

"If I couldn’t breathe, I’d be dead," Leorio sneered.

"What an astute observation," Kuroro deadpanned.

"I am training to be a doctor," Leorio found himself grinning.

"Is that so? Well then, you’re more useful than I thought," Kuroro remarked.

"What’s that supposed to mean?" Leorio wanted to know. Kuroro stood with a sigh.

"It means I get to save you now," Kuroro said seriously.

"WHAT." Leorio’s voice cracked.

"Tell me your Nen ability," Kuroro ordered.

"Hell no!" Leorio snapped. "Why the hell should I tell you?"

"At least tell me what class you are?" Kuroro negotiated. "Transmuter, reinforcement (that would be a blessing) manipulator…"

"Who the hell says you’re gonna save me?" Leorio ignored Kuroro’s question. Kuroro sighed.

"You’re bone-headed enough to be reinforcement," he remarked. Leorio grumbled and shook his head, not moving too quickly. When he did that, the room spun.

"Emitter," Leorio admitted, eyeing the window. "But if my Nen could get us out of here, I would have by now,"

(Did he just say ‘us’? Fuck.)

"Who said anything about using the window?" Kuroro asked calmly. "I intend to walk out the front."

"How?" Leorio demanded, the urge to punch the criminal coming back, full force.

"Simply enough," Kuroro shrugged. "If you can help me, I’ll get you out too."

"…why." Leorio demanded. Something didn’t feel right about this.

"I have my reasons," Kuroro shrugged. "Will you cooperate? It is in your best interests,"

"…Fine." Leorio grumbled, gritting his teeth. While he didn’t like the situation, he also didn’t like being helpless and at the mercy of some creepy kidnappers.

"Good." Kuroro smiled at Leorio, the kind of thing that made it so easy to forget he was a cold blooded killer. "I need you to bring them here. Say something abrasive, you’re good at that I seem to recall"

"Wh…okay," Leorio nodded. He took in a deep breath. "OI ASSHOLES. WHAT KIND OF A PISS POOR CELL IS THIS? COME ON, I’VE ESCAPED BETTER PRISONS THAN THIS PIECE OF SHIT!"

"Hm, vulgar. Nice." Kuroro commented. Leorio rolled his eyes. 

"DOESN’T SURPRISE ME THOUGH, I MEAN, YOU GUYS SMELL LIKE A DAMN COLOSTOMY BAG," Leorio added. "OH WAIT, YOU ASSHOLES PROBABLY DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT EVEN IS."

"QUIET." a nasty sounding voice came from the other side.

"MAKE ME." Leorio replied tauntingly. "OR ARE YOU SCAARED?"

The door swung open. Leorio didn’t even see Kuroro move, all he knew was one minute the man was sitting lotus-style on the damp ground and the next minute he was standing in the doorway with a lump of human meat at his feet.

"Can you move now?" Kuroro asked. Leorio tried, his limbs skidding on the ground like some newborn calf’s. "Hm. I see."

Kuroro walked over to Leorio, who tensed. The criminal had a horribly pitying look on his face, which annoyed Leorio. When he scooped Leorio up bridal style though, Leorio lost it.

"WHAT THE SAME HELL-"

"Don’t shout, I’m right here. Use a six inch voice," Kuroro suggested.

"What are you, a teacher?" Leorio sneered. Kuroro shrugged and began walking at a very quick pace, not exactly running. Leorio had a hard time paying attention to his surroundings; Kuroro was fairly distracting. He smelled like rain.

"Sorry." Kuroro remarked. Leorio blinked.

"Whu-ughigh" Leorio was slung over Kuroro’s shoulder as the man dealt with a group of aggressors. Leorio didn’t see what Kuroro did, but he did see the aftermath; bodies lay in their wake in creatively twisted shapes. "Screw you, you don’t need your Nen! You’re plenty dangerous," 

"Hm." Kuroro replied disapprovingly. Leorio ignored this, trying to position his chin in such a manner taht he could breathe around Kuroro’s fluffy collar.

Either there wasn’t a lot of security, or Kuroro was amazing. Leorio couldn’t decide. His head seemed to clear as they made it outside into the icy rain. unfortunately (fortunately?) Kuroro switched back to carrying Leorio bridal style, which was rather embarrassing. His pride was burning, but he wasn’t being suffocated by Kuroro’s collar anymore. Also, it was dark out, and because of the rain, not too many people were out and about. Leorio started recognizing street signs that were near his dorm and squirmed somewhat. 

"Can you put me down now?" Leorio demanded in a surly tone.

"Can you walk?" Kuroro asked, setting Leorio down. His head spun and he grabbed Kuroro’s shoulder for support, but Leorio managed to stand up and take a few steps without the concrete coming up to meet him.

"Yeah, it’s like walking when drunk," Leorio assured the criminal, flapping a hand at him. "I’m trained in this,"

"Very well." Kuroro shrugged. "I need you to look at an injury."

"Oh?" Leorio blinked at Kuroro. The lighting was still shitty, and Leorio didn’t spot an injury on the man. 

But… he couldn’t really turn him down. It probably went against the Hippocratic oath or something. 

"Fine, follow me," Leorio started stumble-walking towards his dorm. He got a few odd looks from some students hanging out in the lobby, but lead Kuroro to an elevator and punched the up button. Now that they were in good lighting, Leorio was able to see Kuroro better. His eyes were an odd, dark blue color, his skin still pale but with enough rosy tint to indicate he wasn’t a cadaver. He had a crapton of crosses on him though. Some kind of religious guy? That sounded weird for a criminal.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened, letting Leorio stagger out into the hall and down to his room. Kuroro followed silently, observing Leorio. It was creepy. 

"Okay, let’s see this injury of yours," Leorio told Kuroro firmly.

"There isn’t one." Kuroro shrugged.

"…What?" Leorio stared. "What do you mean there isn’t an injury?"

"I’m not injured," Kuroro shrugged again. Leorio grit his teeth and swung at his savior. Kuroro caught Leorio’s fist calmly and pulled the doctor in training close.

"What the hell are you doing?" Leorio demanded, trying not to be unnerved by how close the two of them were, how he could feel Kuroro’s body warmth against his own chilled skin, how those eyes of his just bore into Leorio’s own…

"If I hadn’t told you I was injured, you never would have let me into your dorm and I’d have no way of knowing if you’d made it home safely." Kuroro explained calmly, as if he was discussing something simple with a child. 

"Why would you care about something like that?" Leorio wanted to know. "It doesn’t make sense, you’re my enemy."

"No. I’m the Kurata’s enemy." Kuroro said simply. "And I want him to know that without me, his precious friend would be dead. Or worse."

Leorio had a witty response, he really did, but his tongue felt swollen and numb in his mouth. Kuroro pulled Leorio over to the nearest bed easily, as if Leorio was a rag doll. 

"You should be able to sleep the drug off," Kuroro informed him calmly, heading for the window. "Good evening."

With that Kuroro was gone. Leorio turned his head and glared at the open window.

What a fuck face.

**Author's Note:**

> No tags because IDK how to tag this  
> Maybe more later??  
> Maybe hatekissing later  
> Hm.


End file.
